The Babysitter Barrier

Twice a year the board of education sponsors a “Recreational Activity”, as it’s called, for the teachers of Nishiokoppe and Kamiokoppe. In the winter, this event was the skiing lessons I wrote about (during which I skied down the hill backwards). The students are sent home an hour early, the teachers meet for some “recreation” and the day is topped off by a party. About two weeks ago, I was approached by teachers at both elementary schools and invited to join them in mini-volleyball and the subsequent party. Having developed quite a passion for mini-volleyball, I immediately said yes. However, then something pleasantly surprising happened: Aaron was also invited. I guess they figured out that he was free during the day and would be available to play. The games were scheduled to begin at 2:30 and pre-school doesn’t finish until 4:00, so that was plenty of time. Hooray! The next question I was asked was about Aaron’s attendance at the party. I shook my head sadly and reminded them that he would have to stay home to watch the kids.

As I drove home, though, I started to think about things. We are here, in part, to provide a “cultural exchange” (that’s the buzzword they always use). In my mind, that means that there are some things that are very American that we should continue to engage in. For example, drawing on the sidewalk in chalk. Our driveway is the only such decorated driveway in the village. I don’t worry about being different because we are here so we can learn from each other, right? Well, what else is more American then asking young adolescent girls to baby sit? It’s about as American as apple pie. Ridge’s Japanese is pretty good for a kid and we have several young, responsible girls who live very close to us. So, during that short drive him, I made the decision to break the babysitter barrier in Nishiokoppe. Prior to now, I had been warned to expect two years of no babysitter because it’s not really done here. Well, we’re Americans and its time to teach Nishiokoppe about babysitters.

After a brief discussion, Aaron and I decided that I would ask Kaori. She lives across the street, is very responsible (she has three younger siblings), likes to play with the boys already, and is a respectable 11 years old. My plan was to ask her and a friend to come over Friday and watch the kids. After a few days of waiting for just the right moment, I snagged her while everyone was outside playing one day. Between my Japanese, her very little English, and lots of gestures, I got my point across. She seemed surprised, but undoubtedly willing. However, when I tried to explain how much I would pay her, she almost freaked out. I backed off on the money thing, she confirmed the time and we went about our business. After chatting with Mr. Kurata about the whole issue, he explained that it wouldn’t be a good idea to pay the girls. “You’re neighbors,” he said, “It’s like a favor.” So, I dealt with the issue by making a huge plate of brownies for them to take home.

In the end, Kaori’s older sister, Mari, accompanied her to the babysitting job. Poor Mari’s English is also not great. Though she is in second grade (middle school; same as eighth grade), she struggles a great deal with English and it’s hard for her. Nonetheless, everyone seemed comfortable. I showed the girls where Aaron had put dinner in the fridge and indicated they could just heat it up (mac and cheese – a very special treat for Ridge and Holt). Earlier in the day I had Mr. Kurata translate some simple instructions such as bed time and the “One Brownie for the Boys” rule. While translating, Kurata seemed surprised when I answered “yes” to his question, “Is this common in America? This list?” Inside my head I was thinking, “Well, yeah, of course. How else does the babysitter know what you want them to do?” Babysitting is so uncommon here, though, that I guess he had never thought about it. Today I was telling my adult English class (the ladies) that most girls in America baby-sit as their first job. They were all very surprised.

So, finally, Ridge asked me, “Mommy, aren’t you and Daddy going to leave now?” We took our cue and went to the party. It was the first time in a year that Aaron and I had gone anywhere together at a time of day later than four o’clock. We had a lovely time and I think everyone had a good time chatting with Aaron. I figured he was like “fresh meat”. Everyone knows what foods I eat/don’t eat and everyone has already commented on my mastery of hashi (chopsticks). Aaron isn’t around this group much, though, so they had the chance to question and comment to their hearts’ content.

When we came home, the boys were in pajamas and watching a mini-DVD player while laying on the futon. Surprisingly, Mari and Kaori’s mother was there. I hope she was just checking in. It didn’t appear that anything was wrong. Still, everyone was so nice (and refusing to be paid in anything other than brownies) that Aaron and I decided that the babysitter boundary simply cannot be broken often. I suspect we won’t impose again until it’s time for us to leave and we have the chance to attend some going-away parties. But, at least we did introduce the concept of using neighborhood girls to baby sit. Maybe it will make things easier for the next family who finds themselves in a similar situation when they come to Nishiokoppe from Juneau.